coolxatu:

coolxatu:

she allegoried on my cave til i [JOKE PENDING]

(via howdyimhorny)

sepulchritude:

Sometimes tummy hurt and that means you should eat food to appease it. Other times tummy hurt and you should not eat food, lest the agonies increase tenfold. This is one of life’s many difficulties

(via the-rolling-libero)

gittana:

kiss kiss fall in… love 😳

(via 666pastel)

the-tired-tenor:

team-bear-arms-deactivated20220:

nerdfighterwhatevernumbers:

simariethehawk:

guerrillatech:

and hilariously that is not why it is called that.

It is the circle of the bears cause of ursa major and ursa minor, and the circle without bears cause ya'know opposite part of the sky.

We lucked right into that one….

#so what you’re saying is#the stars dictate whether bears do or do not exist in places

Astrology is real but only for predicting where bears will be

Bears do not travel to places they cannot see their gods

(via literalnobody)

simplyfroggy:

simplyfroggy:

in a parasocial relationship with the car in front of me on the interstate

no one will ever understand you like i do, red minivan from ohio

(via yiffinq)

wumblr:

totallyfubar:

Hot dog water is the exact opposite of holy water in that you can add a single drop of it to any amount of pure water and it will make the entire thing unpure

now THIS is the kind of philosophical liturgy i come to tumblr for. FINALLY i can defeat the pope

(via allaboutdebate)

marypsue:

maybe this silly little coffee drink will equip me to face the unrelenting and unendurable horror of existence

(via a-lonely-dragon)

jewishbookwyrm:

swarnpert:

do you guys think jesus was hung

no i think he was crucified

(via howdyimhorny)

ummthriftstores:

A cowboy’s best assets

(via howdyimhorny)

ohmisterpitiful:

happyfork:

wyndryga:

tiktoksthataregood-ish:

catgirl strip club but all the poles are scratchposts

(Cat Lunch Break - KC Green)

(via a-lonely-dragon)